Sometimes I get tired of getting let overs. Oh my? Is this my first vent? I think it is. Well hear me out tumblr.
I know I’m special to you n all, but lately I’ve been getting nothing but left overs. I’ve been so busy with school coming to an end and preparing for finals and practicals, but I still make time for you. I go to work and most nights I don’t get home until late bc of the long drive but I still put off school work to make time for you bc I know that you need your sleep. Man, sometimes I feels like I’m too “giving”. If you know what I mean by that. It’s whatever. Good night.

well not quite yet! but i will in 2 weeks when i will finally be DONE with my undergrad!!! say whatttt???? undergrad???? lol yes, but it’s only for my associates. then after that i’m getting married. 

haha, jk. 

i hate how i randomly get really insecure. i know that the past is the past for a reason and that we shouldn’t go back and look at it if it hurts us. i’ve allowed the devil to fool me and trick me to believing that i’m only just “another girl”. i’ve felt so insignificant these past two days, and i just felt so unpretty. i didn’t feel ugly because i know that God made me beautiful, but i just didn’t feel “pretty”. know what i’m sayin? 

i need to stop looking at what the world considers “beautiful” and just be content and KNOW that God made me beautiful and that only his judgement matters, because His judgement is not an opinion. 

He is truly a wonderful blessing. Lord i thank you for blessing him in my life. You are truly wonderful and you really do want only the best for me. God i am so excited to see what’s to come. i know that right now everything seems like blue skies and sunshine, but i know that there will be storms and bumps in the road. so God, i pray that you will mold the two of us and help us to take care of our hearts. help us both to filter out what is bad and to take care of each other and truly love each other in the way you have intended love to be.

God, i still don’t know your plans for me, but i am still so excited. i can’t wait until the day that it is all revealed to me. no matter what happens lord help me to stay close to you and rely on you for strength always. 

God, could it be him? i know that it seems short and not too long ago since i have been praying for my husband. it hasn’t even been long yet. doesn’t it just seem too short to really “get over” things? i’ve finally decided to let go of my past and what i “had” and wow, this comes up. i dont know how to take it. but you know what? i think it also could very well be in your plans. i dont know your plans, but God, maybe you are blessing me and revealing your plan to me right at the moment that i decided to let go. i know that other people’s stories are different, and God that’s the beauty of it. you wrote all our stories different. others may say that this is too soon and that i’m moving into relationships too quickly, but God i am still waiting for your perfect timing. 

Maybe, it’s the fact that i’ve decided to want what was best for me. and that very best for me is You God. Lord i am excited to know what your plans are for me. i’m praying for myself, and for him. 

thank you for blessing me with a leader like him. thank you for a counselor, a friend, a helper, and maybe a lover :) 

Lord i am so happy right now. he makes me incredibly happy, happier than i have ever been with any other guy. i know that i can trust him. i know that he can lead me and i know that whatever happens Lord, you will remain my God. 

although i am overjoyed with this, Lord help me to not forget about You. help me to seek you more and more. i don’t want to get distracted. let my heart and love be for you first lord. 

Lord, i can’t even say that this is your will because right now i dont know what you have for me. this could be it, but still i dont know. i’m so excited God to see what you have for me. 

I don’t know what your plans are but maybe they’re being revealed to me right now. Help me to continue to wait for your perfect timing. I really can’t wait to live out your plan for me. Help me to continue to wait and pray. Maybe, just maybe this is your plan? I don’t know but it seems like it could be. But help me to continue to wait.